Missing Home

Okay, so we all knew that I would miss home. But, I think this time I miss home so much more than I did when I was in Chile. The food here is so different, and there is so much of it that I do not like. Which is weird because normally I love everything.

I miss my car, but the last thing on Earth I want to do is drive here. The people are out of their mind. The roads are narrow with places to make U-turns if you need to get to a specific store or street on the other side of the road, but people drive fast and in my opinion recklessly. In traffic jams or high volume traffic areas the lines on the road are just a suggestion for them. People merge and get in front of other people constantly. Traffic keeps moving, but for someone not in control of their own destiny it is unnerving. Also, it is legal to drink alcohol in the car and well I highly doubt that there are any DUI check points.

I have no where to work out, and I kind of feel as if I am one of the few women in Mexico that actually want to work out. I keep asking and asking where a gym is or if people will go to the park with me or something, but it is really a fruitless effort. They are wrapped up in their lives and their things to do, and I really just do not think they understand how strong my desire is to exersize. Maybe only a few people do, but just so everyone is on the same page with me I will try to explain. I love to work out, I love that good feeling I have when I finish a good run or a good circuit of weights. But, I have this slight obsession with exersizing for a few reasons.
1. I put on so much weight when I went to Chile, I never want that to happen again
2. My genes are not exactly of the tiniest family tree
3. I have a horrible horrible fear of getting fat (again)
4. Everytime I walk past a mirror I have to look and check out my body. If there were a scale here I would be weighing myself to monitor flutations


I am a freaking giant down here when I wear high heels. Can anyone see the problem with that sentence? I, the 5 foot 2 inches girl, am I GIANT when I wear heels. The guys are all short, and well they do not work out. Every once and awhile I see someone who is tall, but mostly the world is filled with short people. Which makes me feel uncomfortable because I love to wear heels and all my pants are tailored to fit with high heels, but then I am like 3 to 5 inches taller than everyone in a 5O mile radius of me.

I miss the sun. It is sunny in Nashville and it is not raining everyday. And, even when it is raining here no one wants to go outside because it is too hot. Please, can we go outside and play soccer? Something?

I miss the ability to not be bitten my mosquitoes six times a day. It's normal to keep the windows open at all times, which only means that there is constantly a fly buzzing around or a spider here and there. Also, in the early morning random trucks drive by the house blaring music or honking horns or banging stuff. It's weird and can be annoying. Oh well.

I like my job, I like the family, I like the people. But, I really just do not like this enviornment. I don't like the roads or the neighborhoods or the cars or the rain or the spicy food every single day. I really don't like that I never know where we are going, what we are going to do, or when we are coming home. If any of you have an exchange student in the future, keep that in mind. We like to be in the know, or at least I do. It would be nice to be asked, hey are you tired? Would you mind if we stopped here and did this? Of course I am going to say no I don't mind, but at least I would then have a clue what is going on with my life. I'm 22 years old, I have lived on my own for 5 years. To live with a family is a lot different than what I am used to. I like to be in control of my situation, and right now I feel like I have no control at all. I can't control what time I get to work, I can't control what food I eat, I can't even control if I can work out. I can to a certain extent, but it's just different.

Oh well. I have been here for 1 week and I am missing home this much. When I was in Chile, I made it a lot farther. I have never thought about coming home as much as I have while I am here. I wish I knew why I can't get used to the life here. I'm used to the people and I love the internship so far, but oh well. I'm trying to give it time. I'm trying.....